For the past few weeks, I’ve been thinking of taking a leap of faith to create some ‘major’ changes in my life and my plans. It somehow puts me pressure of how will I make things right when I am afraid of trying something different. It’s been one hell of a ride trying to accomplish in a field I believe, right now, will not make me uncover my full potential. Of course, I know that this will not be any easier, but hey, what else is easier in this world other than dreaming of nothing?
Yes, I am referring to my career as a salesman. Two out of the three years I’ve been in this field, I have delivered with flying colors my annual objectives. This year, I am on track in repeating the victory again. I have fair compensation and benefit. Satisfied with sales incentive. I have free mobile and internet plan, with car, etc. However, job satisfaction isn’t always about those things. More importantly, it should conform with your personal and professional goals in life. And right now, I feel like being lost in the corporate world.
So I want to be out – to find myself again.
I have come to the decision where I want to try something else, something new that I have never tried before at this point of my adulthood. But I know that I still have commitment I need to accomplish for the year so I am still delivering what’s expected from me. I know that for as long as I haven’t tendered my will to leave, I am bounded by the responsibilities expected from me. Moreover, I want to exit in and with grace.
But the decision is already final.
The good thing about coming up with such decision as early as this month is that it gives me more time to just do the job without feeling the much pressure when you are controlled by it. It’s like making the most out of the remaining time you have. You know something will be lost so you just enjoy everything in between. It’s like that. You feel lighter and almost worry-free – not to withstand the fact that no matter what I do, I am leaving anyway.
I could have done this a year ago but I am bounded by the concept of my role in family responsibility. I was frightened to take the risk of losing a job by having nothing to support my parents especially that they’re not getting any younger. I was also frightened by the pressure of being a role model to the young ones in the family. ‘Kaya napostpone ng napostpone until such time na hindi ko na kaya magstay.’ I still believe that I can still live up to my responsibilities despite taking a different path. I still believe that I can make myself composed again from a fall – just what I always do from the past.
I don’t wanna be a slave of the corporate world, of a job, of money. I don’t wanna be like those who can’t afford to lose getting fixed income every month. I don’t wanna be like those who complains about their bosses yet do not want to leave their team. I don’t wanna be like those who only get by the day but not living to it. I don’t want the day to come when it’s too late to try something new because I’ve got bigger responsibility to play. I don’t want life to run away from me because I have no time living a good one. I want my day and the days to come to be simply a story of my life well lived, with no regrets but pride.
A manager once told me that sometimes, what people only need is just a leap of faith.
I am taking a leap of faith of going out of the box despite assurance of nothing. But that’s what life is. No one knows what might happen until he tries. So I am trying.