The thing that the world puts on our life. It either makes us more driven or makes us live under pressure. It could be a choice how we perceive such for as long as it’s for the better.
Just this morning, I bumped into my soon-to-be boss in Davao. He told me that he heard about my current sales performance and was happy about it. And that I assume he is looking forward for more, as I read between his words, as he step into his new position. Of course, I am happy about being commended. I just thought of considering it as an expectation throughout the year.
A new expectation that I would sometimes thought came from something I didn’t do. Honestly, most of the times, I thought that my sales performance wasn’t something I can call the fruit of my labor. I thought that it wasn’t me who made it happen when in fact it’s just me in my assigned territory. This is kind of weird idea of mine.
I’m not saying that I have done nothing for the past months. In fact, I’ve tried so hard to make all these things happen. I have faced a lot of rejections and being ignored by doctors. Have faced as well negative comments from bosses. Sometimes, I overthink at night. But all those they’ve thrown unto me, I did nothing but put my best foot forward.
It’s just that when people commends me of having done these so, it naturally be converted to an expectation – that as much as possible I don’t wanna know or even don’t want people to think so. That’s why I hate being under the spotlight. I don’t want people to know how I did when I’m just around. I’d rather be in the shadow of those achievements. What’s important to me is I’m happy doing my thing.
However, when people knew you have done great at one thing, they assume you’ll do the same all throughout – another expectation. And because of that, you’ll try to live with it. For me, when expectations go in the way, it puts my life under pressure. And I hate to live a life of such. It made me feel unfree to the results of what I suppose to do.
That’s why when my soon-to-be boss told me about that this morning, I became anxious of the future. I felt being boxed – can’t move because I have to deliver the same result as I already did and do not know what do I need to do more.
But one message is for sure – I have to do good. I have to do better. I have to do my best!