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Whenever this time of the month comes in, I always feel pressured and uneasy. Feels that I am not so sure with what I have to do on the following days despite that I have been doing it everyday. It seems like ordinary days are becoming less than special. Please bear with this post but I am talking about myself being with my boss at work.

Once a month, sometimes twice, for four straight days, my boss who is based in Bacolod City would have his field work with me and the other 6 of the team. It is more of coaching and mentoring of being a good sales person such as handling customer queries and sometimes objection, guiding us in the right manner of doing the business, sharing some experiences about customer relationship and some communication and interpersonal skills. Truly, it’s a training for us to be an effective sales person someday that later on, hopefully, will reflect as contribution to the organization and others who would need such. Absolutely, there is nothing wrong with it. In fact, I am more than willing to be trained and learn this whole thing. And another fact is that my boss is as cool and patient and calm and lenient as any of your dream boss. T’was just I who involuntary feels being pressured. :)

It just feels different whenever someone watches over how you do your job. Not because I am doing it wrong, but It’s just uncomfortable and makes me become so conscious with everything how I wanted to do my job. I know many can relate to it most especially when we know, or maybe we just think, that we are not yet good at it, that we are yet on the learning curve of our career. Often times, the only thing I wishes is to end the day appease.

Yet, on the brighter perspective, I also wanted to dismiss the day with something to learn from my boss. In fact, little by little, I know I am getting there. I just need more patience, zeal and enthusiasm to make it possible.

These two – uneasiness and zealousness – often collide which brings total unknown as to how I wanted the day to start and end. Although I know that it should be the latter that must prevail, my thought of learning new things is sometimes hindered by my thought of being judged and committing the wrong thing. In fact, my boss would often tell me that my ‘mathematical’ way of thinking makes me become more cautious and exact contrary to being loose and experimental as a sales person.

For now, I am praying that on the soonest time, I’ll be that person I see whenever I close my eyes. It’s never impossible to happen if I do the right thing and make every single day right. I seriously need a lot of courage to make it happen. I just hope and pray that tomorrow is the start of it all. Good night!

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