A lot of things had happened for the past months. There were days I’ve been doing a lot of things, and there were that do not just how everything is getting well right now. But as my friend noticed, I just am the same person that complain about my life.
We had a good time to converse, firstly about another person’s concern until I told him what just I unexpectedly received yesterday in my Accounting class. If what was that, I better kept it to myself but it was a thing I should be thankful of from my teacher. Out from his concern, he told me in his whole honesty how he sees me the past days which I made myself questionable of the things I have claimed before. Am I grateful with my life?
Maybe that was the question I need to reflect on so as to why I felt deserted the whole month. The reason why I felt lazy to go to school and see the same people I’ve been seeing ever since… because I am not grateful with what I have, burden or happiness, ups or downs, etc.
I want to defend myself to him but still whatever premises I’ll try to make, I know I’ll still end guilty because I know myself that I am guilty of it. In my life, I learned how to weigh things, how to look at the things and tell if I deserve it or not or if others deserve it or not. However as what the ‘sermon’ he made, too much weighing isn’t as good as ordinary judgement. Sometimes, looking too deeply to the object or cause or even to the naked result doesn’t always help to weigh correctly because there are circumstances that don’t need a reason but mere acceptance. He told me that it is the pride that run through me why I always weigh things.
And I would admit that, yes I am guilty of it. I was protecting myself from the judgement they would throw up to me because of the things that I received yet I don’t deserve. This does not apply all the time because, as he said and I agreed upon, there were things that do not need a reason but mere acceptance. Try to think of it, He died at the cross yet no one deserves it. It doesn’t need a reason for the reason is vivid and that we only have to accept it.
Normally, people complain of the things they work on, in whatever amount and regardless whether they deserve it or not. If they have less, they complain. If they have a lot, they grumble. Just like what he told about me. I mostly tweeted negative things that are coming in to my life and never been grateful of what I just have. I became the overall leader of my section in our project, I became the president of Student Learning Center, I was assigned to be one of the team leaders of Center for Social Action, I am currently a Central Committee trainee of ITD-Student Assistant, and I’ve been exempted to my 3 final exams and yet I never heard of myself thanking anyone else about this. And because of those, I did a lot of things making myself busy everyday yet grumbling over it at some times. And now that I am free from any projects and activities that I have to work on, I still complain with whatever comes in to me! Such a miserable life!
So now, I am thankful that I was given a chance to talk to this person. As the line in a movie said, only true friends can be cruelly honest. It gives me realization that life isn’t about how you were with what you have but how you accept what comes into your life whether it’s a burden, a problem, a challenge, or happiness. Everything has a purpose. It may not be clear now, but soon we will realize what it is all about. Just accept what you have and what soon will come into your life whether it’s happiness or not and be grateful with it!
P.S: Days are always great to pass by if you end it with a lesson learned! :D