Weeks have passed, pero ni isang blog post hindi man lang ako nakagawa. Ang hirap pala sa feeling ng ganito. Pakiramdam ko napag-iwanan na yung blog ko. Kaya parang ang hirap magsimula ulit. It’s like starting over again from nothing. Ewan ko kung OA lang ‘tong iniisip ko but the thing here is, nahihirapan ako magsulat since I became busy about my studies.
I don’t wanna say I don’t have the time. I tried writing over the past weeks but I ended up with clean blank untitled notepad. Who would say I was so much busy of school projects and all if I could still find time trying to write a new one. I mean, hindi naman kasi all day and night, nakaharap ako sa computer dealing with my paper works. A lot of my time were wasted composing and putting myself into the right mood to work on my projects.
Marami akong naiisip na mga topics to intelligently “play” on. Gusto kong magbigay ng opinion about Willie Revillame and AFP, gusto kong irecommend sa mga estudyante at kabataan na manood ng The Bottomline ni Boy Abunda at Reporter’s Notebook, gusto kong isulat yung recent achievement ko, gusto kong ishare yung mga natutunan ko on my past experiences, pati nga pagkamatay ni AJ Perez gusto ko rin sanang isulat but whenever I face on my computer and starting to position my fingers and ready to type in my thoughts, parang something was between me and my laptop that I couldn’t connect myself into it.
I really don’t understand why before composing my supposedly recent blog, everything is getting into my mind which will trigger me to write about it. Ang dami-daming bagay na pumapasok sa isip ko then suddenly I’ll become excited to write. Pero pag-nandian na, saka naman nawawala lahat ng mga salitang sinabi ko sa isip ko. Bigla na lang nawawala yung idea hanggang mawalan na ako ng gana.
I believe it’s normal. Pero ayaw ko namang tumagal ng ganito. Ang hirap isipin na yung pinakamamahal mong hobby, bigla mo na lang iiwanan nang dahil lang sa ganito. Yeah, I have thought of it nung mga panahong pakiramdam ko parang wala nang mangyayari sa blog ko. What is this for anyway e kung alam ko namang nahihirapan ako magsulat. But then again, I still go back to my purpose of doing this. Wala akong napapala sa pagsusulat materially but in depth, it gives me personal satisfaction and happiness. For whatever reason, I have loved writing and because of this, I realized that a talent might lost but the interest to something will never be erased if you knew yourself that you have loved doing it.
Siguro OA sa iba yung mga pinagsasabi ko. It might not be a big real thing to you. Pero sa mga taong katulad ko, this is something we all wanted to do even we get gray. How we wish that after 50 or 60 years, we could still go back to our youthful days through this blog. But more than that, the feeling of growing up is more important. Sa pagsusulat kasi, mas nakikilala ko kung sino at ano ba talaga ako. And more importantly, I can sense my purpose of living. Kaya ganun na lang yung pag-aalala ko when I figured out that I was losing this life. Ngayon, I was like an illed man recovering from my disease.
Sana for the next days makapagsulat na ako like it was before. I’ve been missing this for several weeks. At sana I could still continue my purpose of writing because my life is my message!
P.S: If I have written this, does it mean this writer’s block is already unblock? (feeling writer lang) :D