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Last wednesday was the release of list of qualified candidates running for particular positions in Student Council. And I was very lucky to be part of it. I know my college life has been putted of ‘some spices’ to make it more interesting and I believe student council is one of those. This was my dream, and now it is making sense.

The position that was offered to me first was President. For a moment, I felt flattered because there’s another one who believes in my leadership capability. It’s overwhelming to know that I am trusted which definitely is hard to earn. However, I dreamt of being part of the student council, but not being its president. It is not because I don’t trust myself, but rather would I say, I am not ready for it. I refused the position and asked for the position I suppose I really belonged at.

I wanna be the VP for External Affairs. For whatever reason, alam kong dito ako nababagay. Maybe and I guess so, influence from my volunteering life is a big factor. From immersions to events planning and to forums and talks, I learned the science of social analysis and the art of taking stand and action. Sa posisyong ‘to, alam kong maibabahagi ko yung mga bagay na isinusulat ko lang noon. Writing will never be the limit of my thoughts. With this position (if ever I win), it will be a means of going into application what comes from within.

Thankfully, hindi naman yun ipinagdamot sakin. Masarap sa pakiramdam na yung posisyong itatakbo ko ay yung posisyong gusto ko. I had an issue before kasi inoffer din sakin yung auditor. That time, the VP positions were already occupied. So if I wanna run this election, I have no choice but to run for a position that doesn’t meet what I expect for myself. Kaya I came to a decision that if VP externals will not be mine, I better then quit the party. I never wanted to be in a job that I do not want or be in anything that is out of my way. It is actually hard to work for a job that is not your passion. It would only be a less priority which I never wanted to do in case I win this campaign.

However, as much as I became overwhelmed during the first days when I got the position made me feel less confident of myself few days later. I kept on asking myself if this is really for me and if this is really me. Minsan pa, parang gusto ko na lang magquit dahil kung ano-ano na lang yung naiisip ko na negative. During those days, good vibes really has no place in my heart. Lahat na ng pwede kong isipin naisip ko na. That is why, I became questionable in my own thought.

Because wisdom and strength is always there, naisip kong baka kelangan ko lang ng counseling. Naglakas loob akong tanungin yung professor ko before about this. Telling him this and that at lahat ng pwede kong ireason para mag-agree siyang hindi ko kaya. What made me feel comfortable was when he told me that doubt is just a test of belief. Oo nga, I told myself. Why would I doubt my belief if only I believe that doubt will just ruin my plan. I went back to my dreams and started reconstructing it.ย  And now, I am ready again to walk my journey.

Hindi rin naman masama kung susubukan ko. Manalo matalo, at least sinubukan kong gumawa ng paraan para maging isang mabuting estudyante sa school na pinapasukan ko. In fact, I would be happy whoever wins my position. Dalawa lang naman kaming naglalaban e at kaibigan ko pa yung makakalaban ko. It’s really amazing. Siya man ang manalo, kampante akong nasa tamang kamay ang student council, or at least the VP externals position.

Whatever the decision may become, I will take it as a challenge. If it’s meant for me, my passion will drive me to do what is right. If not, maybe I have a bigger and better role to play on. Wherever I get into, all I know is that I will leave this school making my own footprint.