The year 2010 has been a special year for me. From taking a position in my university to growing from a fresh high schoolgraduate and now believing that I am a certified fruitful college student. 2010 really started with finding myself, somehow knowing my identity and what could I do with the people around me. I started standing on what I believe is right and even fight for it by expressing my opinions toward others. I have also attended several community immersions like in Zambales and Tarlac living with the people around. And while on the process, I was realizing how could I help them, what part could I do to contribute something better for them, and actually slowly knowing what’s my purpose of living. 2010 in fact, contributed large portion of my personal growth.
However, knowing those things, dumadaan din sa isip ko, kung para saan ba at bakit I’m still living samantalang may mga namamatay even at the early ages. Kaya sa tuwing Nescafe Ad is aired on tv, lagi ko rin tinatanong sarili ko: Para kanino nga ba ako bumabangon?
Honestly, my family is the main reason kung bakit ako bumabangon every morning. Everything I did and keep on doing is basically for them, most especially my mama. She is my total inspiration. My only girl in life. Alam ko kung ano ang pinagdaanan niya kaya alam ko kung gaano kahirap. At sa tuwing naalala ko yung mga instances na yun, hindi ko napapansin tumutulo na pala luha ko. And I never wanted that to happen again or other nearly similar situations. Kaya I was trying to wake up myself and remind me over again that I have a purpose to fulfill.
Marami akong pangarap sa buhay. From becoming a loving father and husband, to owning my multi-national company and be included to Forbs’ Top People. Taas ng pangarap ko no? But I am serious about it. I know it could happen by having passion, talent and skills as requirements of achieving these goals. It is really challenging but then I know it is still realistic.
I remember the time when I was in Accounting class. My seatmate asked me, “bakit ang sipag mo mag-aral?” I answered, “Kasi may mga pangarap ako.” I know that from having this claim, it will drive me to make a move and will lead me crossing the way I must be taking at. Kung gusto mong may marating, matuto ka munang maglakad bago ka lumipad. Just like how planes fly. Hindi naman sila agad-agad umaangat at lilipad. Kelangan pa nilang bumwelo para lang makalipad. Just like people, we are tended to feel the hardships before feeling the joy and happiness.
Actually that conversation consumes almost a session of that class. Andami niya kasing reactive comments. Lalo na when he said “nandian naman parents ko. After all, sakin din naman mapupunta pera nila.” And then I told him, “masarap gumastos ng pera kung sarili mong pera at kung alam mo kung pano yun maibabalik after mong gumastos.” I do not now if he was structed from it ‘coz he turned the topic to girls. So he asked kung bakit wala akong girlfriend. I told him, “it isn’t my priority.” If your reason is to have inspiration, then you’re making relationships crucial and you are only totally playing with them. Why would I ask for inspiration if I could see it outside admirations to girls. There are a lot of beautiful people to get inspired other than whatever you are thinking.
Kahit na laging nakatatak sa isip ko na hindi ko gusto yung course ko, ayaw kong makita mga professors at classmates ko at ayaw kong makarinig ng bagong topic sa mga major subjects ko, sinusubukan ko pa ring pumasok dahil alam kong darating din yung panahon na malalaman ko yung worth ng nangyayari sakin ngayon. Believe it or not, I almost gave up. I was about to cry and tell my parents then na hindi ko alam kung may mangyayari pa sakin after these situations. Habang bumabangon, tinatanong ko pa sarili ko kung gusto ko ba pumasok which I certainly do not want to do kaya kahit umuurong ang katawan ko na gumalaw, I was forcing my mind to still move and work. At pinanindigan ko yung mga pangarap ko kaya sinabi ko sa sarili ko na kahit anong mangyari, papasok ako.
I want to finish my studies on time and work on large companies abroad. And while working, I wanna pursue my MBA in a famous and prestigious university. I would also like to avail scholarship on taking it coz I know it’s too costly taking it outside Philippines. Everything will be settled before my 25th birthday. On that day, I wanna go back home and start building my own company.
And when I go back home, I wanna help my countrymen. I know maraming nangangailangan ng tulong. I do not know if I could help everyone but I’m sure I would help to the best I can. Minsan nga naaawa ako sa mga batang nakikita ko sa gilid ng kalsada o sa mga batang nakikita ko sa labas ng school at namamalimos. Lalo na yung mga batang dinadaan-daanan ko lang sa hagdan ng vito cruz station. Ang sakit sa pakiramdam na habang ikaw ang dami mong pera, makikita mong may mga taong halos wala nang makain dahil walang pera. Pero sa kabila nun, nakukuha pa nating magreklamo ng kung ano-ano. Samantalang sila hindi natin maringgan ng kahit na ano.
Pero mas naaawa ako sa mga matatandang uugod-ugod na pero nagtitinda pa ng kung ano-ano sa daan o kaya yung mga matatandang palakad-lakad pa sa kalsada habang may hawak na bag at kung ano-ano (minsan naiisip ko naglayas ata) pero seriously minsan naiisip ko baka pinalayas sila ng mga pamilya nila. Kaya pakiramdam ko, I have a calling talaga to help these people. On what way? yan ang hindi ko pa alam.
But for now, I believe Lord is giving me a chance to show myself up to everyone and try to inspire friends and peers. Maybe through writing, I could deliver what I wanted everyone to absorb with and hopefully, with this simple thing, nakakatulong ako sa tao. Lalo na sa pakikialam ko sa society. Yeah, I have written several articles about the goings of the politics, of environment, of schools, of economy, of the world, and of others. And I love expressing my opinions through my blog. So hopefully teens, perhaps are getting what am I trying to tell them which actually to take part and be aware of everything around them.
Everyday is another chance to spend worthily. That said, I am sure that my every day has a goal to meet. A goal to grow and be matured enough as an entity of this world. I know I’m a leader in the making. Soon, I will be leading my schoolmates to a better community. Soon, I will be leading young people to fill their purpose in life. Soon, I will be leading poor people to stand up and live a different life. Soon, I will be leading workers to a prosperous, cooperative, and brotherhood management. Soon, I will be leading everyone to a better society. I claim all these because I know I can. And if I can, you too totally can.
Hindi ko alam kung nalagay ko na lahat ng reasons kung bakit ako bumabangon araw-araw. But what I know is that, I’m now living a life that has direction. I just wish you too are starting to walk your path. Lastly, I just wanna ask you the same question I asked myself, para kanino ka bumabangon?