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In my Desktop Development class (it’s a programming class), one of the requirements to do after bloody quiz 4 is to have a diagnostic exam which you are tasked to create and codes program all in 30 minutes and if you do, you’ll be exempted to finals.

Nanlaki kaya mata ko nung sinabing exempted sa finals so I gave my full effort to be exempted. I printed out the codes instead of scrutinizing it in MS visual studio because my netbook isn’t really for that kind of softwares. So to avoid annoyance (‘coz at times I’m short-tempered), I made a hard copy with 3 column per page (mahal kaya magpaprint).

So ayos na. I told myself that I should hit bed after 10pm. When that time came, 3 out of the 5 pages pa lang yung saulo ko. So I was thinking of setting aside this for my sleep or the otherwise. But because I somehow enjoyed memorizing the codes  for whatever reason, I continue reviewing but only until 12am. Pero dahil hindi pa rin ako tapos, hinayaan ko na lang na hindi  matulog basta ma-exempt lang ako sa finals.

I had several shots of hot coffee and water, and several times of coming in and out of the toilet. HAHAHA. I wasn’t able to monitor the liquids I consumed pero sa pabalik-balik ko sa toilet, nagising naman ako kahit papaano. Yeah, it contributed aside form the coffee. LOL =))

At 5am, I finished reviewing though wasn’t really sure if I absorbed them all. So on bed, I alarmed my phone’s time at 8am so that I could leave the house and arrive in school early and review over again.

In school’s library, I again faced the codes and surprisingly, saulo ko pa rin yung mga codes na pinagpuyatan ko. I was definitely ready for the exam. So before I went to class, I prayed to God to guide me and give me strength na maalala yung mga codes. But I also asked him that whatever the result of that exam might become, I’ll understand His purpose to me.

And the moment of truth came, ayan na ang exam with matching big timer in the monitor pa. There are 6 requirements needed to run the program excluding the user interface. Which means, I still have to make my own interface and program it all in 30 minutes. I doubted that I can (my biggest fault).

However, I still gave a shot to accomplish all the requirements. I typed in the codes continuously, as in no interuptions whatever. Out of the 6 requirements, I only finished 4 going 5. In short, I failed.

But on that moment, I didn’t feel regret and disappointed and dismayed.  Or felt like a loser that after all of the efforts I have invested, I didn’t get the goal I was reaching for ‘coz there’s one thing I realized about at that very moment.

Maybe exemption to finals wasn’t really meant for me, maybe because I deserve something else, most probably a greater better reward to gain. Maybe that is why I didn’t felt underdog because I learned that the codes I memorized are not just words and symbols stucked on my brain, but a real whole program. Surprisingly as I memorize codes, gradually I understand why is this like, what is the use of that function, why is this included, why is that code placed on that part, and the like.

I was really very thankful that at last, I got the interest I was chasing for after me. Ewan ko kung nabasa mo mga kaemohan ko dahil sa subject na ‘to. Kung hindi pa ako nagpuyat, hindi ko pa magugustuhan mga codes. What funny is, it took me only overnight to realize that somehow, the subject and my course is interesting enough to give focus. Well,  I have pictured out that I really have future dealing with codes and programs though not necessarily for jobs, maybe at least knowing that I will gain something from this and that I could enjoy doing it.

At least for now, I know that my scholarship and the school’s money isn’t wasted for nothing because of that subject, and because of my selfish interest. I hope this mindset isn’t just temporary but a long-term or even a lifetime positivity.

It is indeed true that there’s something else you deserve more than you think what you deserve. And there are greater results from greater efforts for a greater goal.