Before I make my step in the next ladder of my education, I said to myself that love and falling on it must be set aside. Why??? Coz it hurt so much. My past experience was very tremendous. My bad!!! But I think all of that was destined to swallow.
It’s just a month when I saw and knew this girl. She’s the first girl that smiled at me during our first day in an event. And that smile made me smiled too. That’s so cute.
At first I thought it was nothing. But it suddenly changed. Till one morning came.
The day of revelation.
I woke up 4:30 in the morning, and I’m still sleepy. I was like a zombie. I went to CR then on the dining. When faced the dishes, I suddenly saw her face. I was shocked. I said to myself, “Why is that?” what does it mean? It actually awakened me and my soul.
Then after that, she kept on my mind as if she’s a tattoo that I want to be with anytime. Then I ask myself, “Am I in Love? Is this love? again?”
I ask her if she have a boyfriend without knowing my intention. But actually there is no malice on that question. I just want to know coz we’re friend and I don’t want anybody stepped by me. She said, “she don’t want commitment.” Then I immediately replied “okay”.
I didn’t hurt on that answer or even a little. Coz there’s no intention on that. Really. But as time comes, I am falling to her. And I don’t want to be hurt again and again. And considering that she don’t want commitment.
Now, I’m allotting space between us coz I Don’t wanna hurt. I don’t wanna continue this feeling coz I know she will not respond. And I hope she understands it.
I avoided this feeling as if i hated it but I lose ‘coz “you make me love you”