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For the past months, I’ve been feeling better. No very low moments, procrastination, and anxiety. I can sleep better though there are still days that my brain keeps me awake at night (or sometimes makes me feel tired and dizzy after sleep which I theorize to be my brain working while I’m asleep). My mood has been improving and my anger is diminishing little by little.
So what made the difference?
Since the pandemic is nearing its end, the world is opening up again which means I can see and talk to more people constantly and face-to-face. And I think that made the difference.
My badminton playmates could probably be a huge huge factor in this progress. They are the total opposite of me. They are loud, fun, happy, and true to themselves. It’s a constant positive vibe whenever I play with them. Awkward silence is not in their vocabulary. They always have something to say for the entire duration we are together (roughly 4-5 hours) and whatever comes out from their mouth are so damn funny that I would often complain about too-exhausted jaws. LOL.
I feel alive when I am with them and while away from the person I am at home who is serious, hardworking, and focused. It’s a break that I need on a weekly basis in order to reset not only my mind but also my mood and be reminded that the other side of me must have his time. So far, it’s working. The balance is doing me good. In fact, I felt more productive and generally in the mood every day. The balance of sleep, physical activity/exercise, and happy pills from friends equates to tremendous improvement in my productivity, critical thinking, and mood.
Society has proven this already. In fact, Adventist Health of Hawaii recommends the same activities I mentioned above such as doing physical activities, getting a good laugh, breaking out from the routine, striking up a conversation, etc. I know these recommendations sound obvious but it’s really different when you battle this kind of mental health challenge. Cliche as it may sound, it’s truly easier said than done.
I am an introvert (and probably on the extreme end of the spectrum). So making relationships with strangers is something that needs a lot of warming up (and stages LOL). In a lot of badminton groups that I joined (just for the purpose of playing and not making friends), this specific group of people I mentioned is by far am most comfortable to be with.
Badminton has helped me help myself. Aside from hoping to get better at playing, it pushed me to somehow unguard myself from the thoughts that negatively impact my mood and personality. It doesn’t only allow me to be physically fit and healthy but also allows my mind to be mentally tough and my emotion to be positively controlled. It’s a part of my self-discovery that I find by playing Badminton. And with the help of these crazy people (despite them not knowing how helpful they are to me), it made the process so much easier that resulted in a huge meaningful impact.
So from the bottom of my heart, thank you guys. I appreciate your presence and I am learning from all of you.