Life pushes us around

“Life pushes all of us around. Some people give up and others fight. A few learn the lesson and move on. They welcome life pushing them around. To these few people, it means they need and want to learn something. They learn and move on. Most quit, and a few fight.

If you learn this lesson, you will grow into a wise, wealthy, and happy young man. If you don’t, you will spend your life blaming a job, low pay or your boss for your problems. You’ll live life always hoping for that big break that will solve all your money problems.

Or if you’re the kind of person who has no guts, you just give up every time life pushes you. If you’re that kind of person, you’ll live all your life playing it safe, doing the right things, saving yourself for some event that never happens. Then you die a boring old man. You’ll have lots of friends who really like you because you were such a nice hardworking guy. But the truth is that you let life push you into submission. Deep down you were terrified of taking risks. You really wanted to win, but the fear of losing was greater than the excitement of winning. Deep inside, you and only you will know you didn’t go for it. You chose to play it safe.”

— Rich Dad

Kadayawan 2014

It’s my first time to attend the Kadayawan Festival this year and I’d like to say that I’m a proud DavaoeƱo already. It’s been a year living in Davao and the recently concluded festival was one of the best days I ever had. Never thought that this celebration will leave me hangover the bliss it had brought me and all the people out there.

Friday night was the start of the hype of the celebration as people gather to attend street parties all around. As I go around the city, the young and the not-so-young were busy on the streets. I can actually feel the noise like that of Christmas celebrations. Everybody were just enjoying the day and night like children into carols. Davao has never been busy like this since I came aboard in this awesome city.

Last Saturday was my YOLO moment. In the morning, I attended street dance competitions with 17 contenders. Kudos to all their overwhelming efforts to do such creative props and number. Some of them even gave me goosebumps while watching. The kids were merely enjoying the performance. I can feel it in their expressions. They’re happy doing that and for that reason, it gave the audience an experience worth keeping.

At night, I together with my workmate and his cousins and friends went to the first Spectrum Kadayawan invasion. That night was a night to remember. As the lyric of Kesha’s new song says, “let’s make the most of the night like we’re gonna die young.” It started at 3PM and lasts for 12 long hours. And we never really felt tired until t’was done. Congrats to DJ Nix Damn P, Ace Ramos and others for the wonderful music. Despite the controversial ‘Hipon’ remark of Ramon Bautista, the party just went fantastic. If only every night would be like spectrum night…

On sunday was the float parade though I chose to missed it. My body just don’t wanna go out of bed as the party last night closed at three in the morning. But for sure, it was a very beautiful day as well. I saw in media coverages the colorful creative floats made both the big and small ones. Congrats to all who participated.

Truly, Kadayawan is a one of kind festivity. Congratulations to Mayor Duterte and the rest of organizers for the well-organized festival. More to that for a very safe celebrations because nobody attempts to pickpocket nor create deviant doings. Just after the festival ended, I craved for more to come.

Below are some of the photos I captured.

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Expectations

The thing that the world puts on our life. It either makes us more driven or makes us live under pressure. It could be a choice how we perceive such for as long as it’s for the better.

Just this morning, I bumped into my soon-to-be boss in Davao. He told me that he heard about my current sales performance and was happy about it. And that I assume he is looking forward for more, as I read between his words, as he step into his new position. Of course, I am happy about being commended. I just thought of considering it as an expectation throughout the year.

A new expectation that I would sometimes thought came from something I didn’t do. Honestly, most of the times, I thought that my sales performance wasn’t something I can call the fruit of my labor. I thought that it wasn’t me who made it happen when in fact it’s just me in my assigned territory. This is kind of weird idea of mine.

I’m not saying that I have done nothing for the past months. In fact, I’ve tried so hard to make all these things happen. I have faced a lot of rejections and being ignored by doctors. Have faced as well negative comments from bosses. Sometimes, I overthink at night. But all those they’ve thrown unto me, I did nothing but put my best foot forward.

It’s just that when people commends me of having done these so, it naturally be converted to an expectation – that as much as possible I don’t wanna know or even don’t want people to think so. That’s why I hate being under the spotlight. I don’t want people to know how I did when I’m just around. I’d rather be in the shadow of those achievements. What’s important to me is I’m happy doing my thing.

However, when people knew you have done great at one thing, they assume you’ll do the same all throughout – another expectation. And because of that, you’ll try to live with it. For me, when expectations go in the way, it puts my life under pressure. And I hate to live a life of such. It made me feel unfree to the results of what I suppose to do.

That’s why when my soon-to-be boss told me about that this morning, I became anxious of the future. I felt being boxed – can’t move because I have to deliver the same result as I already did and do not know what do I need to do more.

But one message is for sure – I have to do good. I have to do better. I have to do my best!

‘Kulang budget ko’ (I don’t have enough budget)

This is one of the heartbreaking words from patients to hear as a medical representative. It’s my job to see doctors everyday. And it happens to be part of my job as well to see patients and hear their stories.

While I was waiting outside a doctor’s clinic yesterday morning, a mom of late 40’s of age went out to talk to someone over the phone. I was eavesdropping. In her ‘teary’ gentle voice, she was trying to borrow a money from the person on the other line because she has no enough money to pay for the consultation and small procedure done to, I believe, her daughter.

It ground my heart. I know because we were once been in the same instance before. I completely understand the hardship of having nothing at all but have to pay for something because it matters your family. The ‘bahala na’ habit often saves the day but lasts only until tomorrow – And we do not care because what matters to us is the well-being of someone we love.

Those kind of stories make me feel more driven because I hope and pray that someday, in God’s time, I’ll find my way to help those people – to help them be better and live better. I still have a hope that the healthcare system of this country will get better; that someday, everybody will have better healthcare services and benefits. And no one will went out of the clinic teary trying to reach out other people begging for help.

Realization: My parents told me to never give up

Today, I am, again, broke. Not because I splurge on so many things I want but expenses just came in series. Seriously, it makes budgeting harder and harder for what have only left. And kind of makes people crazy having nothing to spend enough.

But I got one realization over this. I thought of my parents…

When I was younger, we once fell behind the poverty line. My parents do not have regular and average-paying jobs to support six of us. Two were on collegiate, two were on high school and the rest were helping my parents to earn a living. Income is indeed not enough to get by the day and while every day had passed, it gets harder to live.

Sometimes, I would see them quiet laying on the bed and looking far from reality. Most probably, they’re thinking how to surpass the day and the next days to come with little cash to support meals, allowances, bills, etc. Most probably, they’re thinking where to get money or whom shall they see to lend them a money.

And at that age, I must admit that it’s the time when I least understand everything that was happening. It’s the time when I complain about not having my allowances to spend for projects and other school expenses. I remember the time when I get mad thinking that I won’t graduate on high school because of that circumstances. But then my parents would still come up with something to give to us for us to continue studying. And I won’t bother to ask where it came from and how they’d get it.

I have this feeling that part of my experience today is what they have felt long ago. That they don’t wanna go out and talk to people but instead just sit down the corner or lay on the bed trying to fall asleep to break free from the problem of today. But we can’t sleep because we just can’t runaway from that reality.

I felt the hard computations of spending only this much but knowing it isn’t enough. I felt the enumerations of what to do’s to accommodate the necessities with what has only left. For a short period of time, I have felt how my parents had gone for most of their lives.

And their experience assured me as well, as an independent now, that I can get through this as how they did to help us live a life away from what we had. They are the model and hero of my life. And I will always look them up as the person who have shaped me to be better and never to give up at all points of life.

My First Anniversary in JnJ

I forgot to post this last July 8. But better late than never. I just celebrated my first year in JNJ. I’m happy that I was able to find a company as good as this one. Some people would say that I am lucky to be part of this reputable organization in this early age. And I am thankful about that, being able to enjoy the perks and benefits of the company which is one of the best in the industry. I am also thankful that this organization is helping me fulfill my family responsibilities – as in our credo. And being able to “enjoy” as well the pressure of working in sales.

The girl in the video is my batch mate. So we both celebrated it. That is all. Happy Anniversary to us!

Breeding can’t be bought

With all the money that you have, sadly, breeding cannot be bought. I pity those people who do not notice how they’re slowly burying themselves below the ground; who already forgotten character as the most important aspect of life.

Someone, of late 30’s of age, would sometimes say anything negative about me if he’s in the mood to target me. Sometimes, he’ll do it in front of other medical reps for which I thought that he’s intentionally embarrassing me. Further, he would say it out loud. Oh sorry no, he talks aloud. He’s so loud creating so much noise in the clinics and hospitals.

Yes, he is he. A guy doing such immature gay thing. I also thought that he is gay at first. But my fellow rep told me that he has a family. For which I became curious about his style of raising his children. But anyway, I don’t wanna question that.

When I was new in Davao, I already knew that I don’t wanna befriend with such type of person. Because of that, I don’t deal with him and the rest of the same kind. All the hoops and disguises he jump through me, I just simply don’t mind – like I never heard it. Basically, he is bullying me. But I don’t buy that. I am a grown up man that suppose to stand on my own. And I’d like to believe that I am a peaceful grown up man, therefore, I don’t give my time to them just to ruin it.

I just like to put this realization that no matter what your status in life is and how many years you’ve been living in, breeding is either innate or acquired. It can be learned through experiences. Yet, it’s a choice of your own self.

As far as I can consider myself more mature enough than other people, I will humble myself. I don’t wanna fight back head on. My silence is my means of fighting back. My parents raised me to be a good citizen and I am living from that roots. None can buy that nor I would sell it for any gold in the bank.