It’s really worth it to stop your fast car, take a little time to step out, go across the mountain road and witness the wonder of nature up above.
This is Kurt (apologies but I have to blur his face). I met him outside a clinic in Davao Doctors Hospital. At first glance, I thought he looks just as cute as every child with green-framed eye glasses on as his (mom’s) fashion. But when I ask his mom if whether the eye glasses have grades, she shared with me that Kurt’s left eye has 450 grade while the right one is 400.
Mine is 125 both eye and it’s kind of difficult and feels uneasy to look at several things because of frizzy and undefined perception of it. What more for a 450-grader eye sight? And what’s even more to a 1 year and 9 month old child?
Yes, he’s almost 2 years old already. But physically, I thought he was only 8 or 9 months old. He speaks no words but sounds. He can’t walk yet. So it made me ask further what could have happened to him. I just like to understand why a very cute and happy child like him has that condition.
She then shared with me that Kurt has Cerebral Palsy and that’s when I realized Kurt’s eyes and motor function were affected.
It made me feel heavy-hearted questioning why the never-to-happen-again childhood experience was taken away from an angel like him. I remember telling Kurt’s mom that my nephew is as young as Kurt. And she shyly iterated that my nephew could have been tumbling and running and playing hard just like others. I felt her hopes to see her son doing the same and play with his friends. But I also felt her struggle.
At that time, what I can only offer to Kurt was a little happiness I can give him by playing with him while he was waiting for his therapy. And it made me happier whenever I hear those small laughter and see his smile on his face. It’s priceless. I pray that Kurt and his family will have a stronger and tighter hope and faith that he’ll have a better life he deserve. I also pray that his therapy will help him walk and speak just like a normal child. And lastly, I pray that Kurt, as an example, will become an inspiration to everybody. I hope whoever reads this will also offer a prayer for him. I have faith that all our prayers will be heard and will make Kurt’s life normal as others.
Photo was taken somewhere in Sta. Cruz going to Digos City. Stopped by beside the road because I am always fascinated with the structure of it. I was actually, I guess, at the foot of Mount Apo, the highest mountain in the Philippines. The combination of green leaves of the trees, the blue sky, the white and soft clouds, the brown and orangy soil, the height of the hill, the long and winding road, and the music on the background makes every road experience a treasure.
When my work partner told me that we need to provide car servicing to some doctors from Manila for the Philippine Society of Anesthesiology (PSA) mid-year convention, I started to become anxious. Ironically, I understand that my work deals all the time with different doctors, but I felt during that time that I can’t contain myself inside a car with a doctor with me. I admit that I don’t have that consistent rapport with most of my doctors yet and it’s something I am challenged at. But I have to do this with all I can.
All that pops out of my head was that I don’t wanna give negative impression to the doctor I will fetch at the airport. I’m anxious about my driving from the fact that I’m just a new driver. But more to that was I don’t want us to be silent most of the time like a total stranger – like dead air wins over flowing water. What I meant is, I’m not so loud and talkative as a typical representative. I cram how to start a conversation and stutter when get on the hook. And what supposed to make me stutter was the fact that when I googled the name of the doctor I’m fetching, it turned out that she is the chairman of Ethics Committee of PMA. Like PMA?!? As in Philippine Medical Association!!! I felt intimidated.
Seriously, it’s some of kind of paranoia and maybe a little of phobia. So what I did to overcome it was not actually to face it alone but with the help of my friends (big thanks Noe and Alex!!!). They accompanied me fetching the doctor and actually requested them as well to manage the talk. When the time comes and to our delight, the doctor whom we all thought was intimidating because of her position in PMA wasn’t intimidating at all but so friendly and low-profiled. She was actually surprised that her name was placed on public after I raised my signage containing her name – and this started a good talk with her.
Thank God that this first experience of mine doing that wasn’t as bad as what I thought it will be. I’m maybe too paranoid to judge things that are up to. Just learned to just go with what will happen whether good or bad because most of time, I truly believe now, that will be a good one. Just like to thank as well the doctor I just met in the airport whose friendliness to people like us creates impact to my job as a medical rep. Thanks as well to my friends who supported me all the way. Thank God I made it.
Right now, I can’t sleep. I just can’t get out of my mind the boy who innocently sells broom in the drive thru of Jollibee near Davao Medical Center. On my estimate, he’s 10 to 12 years old. He waited for me for 5 to 10 minutes to open my window and buy one. But I didn’t. And I felt guilty.
At that moment, I can feel his desperation to sell all out. His eyes tells me, or maybe begs to me, to buy one of those around 10 brooms he carries with himself. But I didn’t and I felt guilty. And as I drove away and as he patiently waits for people who’ll buy to him, I felt even more heartless. It pounds me and ashamed of what I just did, or what I just didn’t do that I must have done. I should have bought. I must have.
I must have bought even just one. I could have helped him with his reason why he earns for a living in an early age. I could have helped his family. I could have helped him. I could have kept his hopes up that he’ll sell all of it. Better yet, I could have contributed to keep his hopes up. But I didn’t.
There’s just nothing I can feel but guilt. I pray to see that young boy again and do what I supposed to do, this time, with empathy and heart.
While there’s a bad weather coming in Davao Region, it seems like it complements with my performance year to date. Sales has always been the most adventurous and exciting part of being a territory representative, yet, it can also be the most frustrating one specifically when it didn’t go your way. While so much effort has been made, I wonder why it’s still sick. “Isn’t it enough?”, I always ask myself.
I have projected my performance to end at decent 90%, however, as low pressure area transformed into tropical depression, it then went down to a ‘red alert’ status. There’s a big surge that transform it to something problematic. And as the month near its end (like 2 days before it ends), my hope in achieving that decent number drowned below flash flood level.
And as I get involved in this climate, my teammates enjoy a clear weather, to end the month with flock of birds dancing up high. Of course I am happy for them for performing better than before. I just felt that in the rat-race, I’m still shut-in the race while they enjoy the life outside – Like a weakling in a marathon.
Although I am some sort of depressed and disappointed and down, I am never losing my hope to the fact that, just like any season, this bad weather will come to an end. I am holding on to the fact that there’s a rainbow always after the rain.
After four days of either got pick-pocketed or my wallet lost itself – I really don’t know what happened, – there’s only 60 pesos now in my pocket, but I have to note that I’m not having my dinner yet for the day. Kind of tough but will get through it! Anyway, I’ll have my cards back this week so I can withdraw. Although I know that I can also withdraw through traditional banking, I was so loaded last week that I’ve got no time to visit a bank and even realized that I have no cash at all.
Anyway, I just put into mind that the person who got my wallet with its cash badly needs a money. I hope I helped someone through this unintentional way. God bless!